Homeschooling Is Lethal

If you have underaged kids, they’ve been sitting in your hair pretty much since March. It’s October, and our mirrors are not telling quite the same story they did before all this started. So if you’re now embarking on some form of remote schooling or full time teaching of your own children, consider supplementing that game plan with anti-aging products.

Trust me. I’ve been teaching my child for a while, with all the highs and lows that go with it. So if you’re new to this, let me explain why it’s good to get ahead of the game – even assuming you look the exact same as you did in March. (Right.)

Think of some of your teachers in the past (and don’t tell me you never misbehaved). How many had downturned lips? Were there any with despondent, drooping eyes? How about the near constant smirk? Ever noticed that one corner of some teacher’s nose was always a little higher than the other… in disdain?

As time passes, facial expressions leave their mark. Have you been giving your child lots of threatening looks for poor behavior? Or perhaps you’ve repeated, “I am the teacher, here!” at least 10 times during the past few weeks. If so, I want you to try something. Make a plain face – no expression, no smile. Now look in the mirror. Have you noticed a little tightening here and there? This is your face getting accustomed to the repetitive motion of its muscles.

Don’t be mad. I’m just trying to help. So now let’s have a lesson on how to avoid (further) premature aging due to stress.

What Aging Looks Like

Twitter @chop466

The initial signs of aging can differ by facial structure. Do you have hooded eyes? Hooded eyes are characterized by a fleshy browbone area. If you have them, your signs if aging will appear here first. The eyes get heavier and more sunken with age and crows feet and bagging occur. Even if you haven’t noticed any of this happening, grab a collagen eye serum for the semester anyway. It’s an ounce of prevention.

If you don’t have hooded eyes, aging will then usually be observed first in the lower half of the face. This is where the collagen between the lower cheek and the mouth begins to degrade, even if the rest of your face still looks fresh. If you’re over 40, or getting close to it, and happen to be caring for children, observe this area and set to work with the following.

Glycolic Acid

A chemical exfoliant like glycolic acid stimulates the epidermis and increases circulation. It helps keep the muscles under your skin from becoming stagnant. Low circulation contributes to the degradation of the skin and fatty layers of the face, too.

Glycolic acid is not a miracle ingredient, but it’s pretty close. Younger looking skin can be seen almost immediately after starting a regimen with this alpha hydroxy acid. It sets up a system of constant, gentle exfoliation of the face. Just don’t go above a concentration of 10%, if you’re using it at home.

Most glycolic acid products work about the same. However, some are sold with mechanical exfoliant additives like microbeads. These are not only unnecessary, but can dull the new skin that’s surfacing due to glycolic acid.

Oh, and if you’re going out, use a sunscreen. (Yes, I mean you.) Glycolic acid makes skin photosensitive, and who wants to go hopping from the frying pan into the fire with fine lines?


Speaking of fine lines, retinol is the fine-line-enemy. Just rub the solution right into your rough spots, or all over your face, if you like. Retinol and glycolic acid can be used in conjunction. You’ll need a sunscreen outside with this one too.


Ingesting collagen goes a long way to defeat the symptoms of aging, as collagen is one of the bodily stores that lowers significantly with time. Collagen creams can be expensive, but both glycolic acid and retinol stimulate collagen production in the skin. If you feel it’s not enough, ingesting collagen peptides can aid the process. They are also flavorless in your morning cup of joe before school.

The biggest thing is that whatever curriculum skincare routine you choose, stay consistent with it. Kids Skin can be trained to adjust with consistency.

“I am the —!”

“Teacher here?”

“I said stop interrupting.”


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